Finding My Passions

Finding my passion

Finding my passion

Recently, I called one of my best friends to help me resolve an issue. I have not worked full time in almost two years. A full time job has eluded me and honestly, even if I had captured one, I’m not sure I would have been able to work with my health issues. I will call him “The Fixer” because that’s what he does, helps me see the problem(s) in a new light. The Fixer asked me to list my top five passions. Yes, that’s right, not the top three but the top five. He gave me a week to give him the information. For some people that task may have been extremely easy, but for me it was very difficult. I can name many of my boyfriends’ passions without a second thought. I can even do that for my siblings, but when it comes to me, I was, well, I struggled. I realized that my habit of putting others first and my long struggle with depression had really made an impact on my life and not in a good way.

So, I spent the week really thinking and analyzing the things that I love to do. I searched the recesses of my brain and heart to find the top five things that would get me going, that made my heart sing. Coffee was not to be on the list and neither was breakfast, so I had to really dig deep. A few days ago, I tuned into Joel Osteen’s’ Night of Hope and something he said sent me scouring my childhood memories for my passions.

One of the first memories to arise was me creating and reciting stories to my younger siblings in an effort to keep them occupied and out of my mother’s hair. I also remember talking aloud to the characters I had created. I’m not sure why I did this, but I know that it helped me to understand the character better and extend the story. My siblings loved it; however, my mother had a problem with me talking to thin air. I guess in a way I had imaginary friends. Although, I still created stories I needed to find another outlet to stay out of trouble with my mom.

At that point I turned my focus on reading as much and as often as I could. One of my fondest childhood memories is being able to check out a library book on my own, without my mother present. That was such a glorious day for me. I know, it is a little bit of a strange accomplishment, but to me it was very important. In elementary school there was a reading program called “Reading Around The World.” In order to get the award, a student would have to read as many pages as the circumference of the Earth, 24,901 pages. I went around the world twice, without struggle. Reading was certainly an activity I enjoyed and still do to this day.

I just had three more passions to discover. I dug a little deeper and began to remember how important art was to me by Junior High. I remember making a piece of art with left over tiles and a discarded piece of wood. The funny thing is I remember some of the art assignments from my 7th grade art class. I have a hard time remembering what I ate for dinner last night, but I remember that classroom, the assignments and the fun that I had learning how to create “real” art. Yes, the more I remembered, the more I realized art was one of my favorite pass times. Art was definitely a passion for me.

This little assignment from The Fixer was beginning to be fun. I was enjoying my walk down memory lane. I could not believe that I had forgotten how much creating stories, reading and art meant to me as a child and even into adulthood. I was known for carrying a book around with me everywhere I went. I had to have a story at hand and would often read five books a month. I was really at a loss for words. How could I forget? How did I let this happen?

Are you living your childhood passion? Are you participating and living a passionate life? If so, please share. I would love to hear your stories.                                                                                                                                                              

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